Once you have shown us that you can get up on time for five days in a row, we’d be happy to move your bedtime back to 11 pm.” If your child does not get up on time, simply state: “I know you want a later bedtime.
As of today, we are moving your bedtime back to 10 pm on school nights. You need to be up by 7 am on school days. You might tell your child: “You seem to have a hard time getting up in the morning, which tells me you aren’t getting enough sleep. The Total Transformation also recommends that parents institute an earlier bedtime. In order to create less dramatic mornings, you have to let your child experience the consequences of not getting themselves up and out the door. Don’t protect your child from these consequences by making sure they make that bus on time. You might also check with your school to see what the policy is for repeated tardiness or missed classes. A natural consequence for oversleeping and being late to school is having to make up any schoolwork that was missed. It may take a few days for them to get the hint, but once you stop working so hard, they will realize they have to change their behavior, or face certain consequences. The important thing to realize is that as long as you take responsibility for getting your child out of bed, they will let you do it. As James Lehman says, “You are substituting your extra energy and effort for your child’s.” So if you think about it, why should your child get up on their own when you are willing to do it for them? If they know they don’t really have to get up until mom threatens to bring the ice water, why should they get up at the first ring of the alarm? Ten more minutes is ten more minutes, right? If you repeatedly bang on your child’s door to get them up, or you drag them out of bed, you are working harder to wake up your child than they are. The Total Transformation Program tells parents to stop taking responsibility for getting their kids out of bed on time. The Good News: You Can Stop Working So Hard But just because a kid’s biology doesn’t match up with the demands of the outside world, it doesn’t mean that you have to surrender to the daily insanity of getting your kids up and out of the house.
What that means is that when your child has to get up early to get to school, he or she is working against a biological drive to sleep. Biological sleep patterns during adolescence make it difficult for teens to get to sleep before 11 pm, and nearly impossible to wake up in time to catch the bus or make it to homeroom on time. According to the National Sleep Foundation, teens need an average of nine hours of sleep per night.
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